Dealing with insecurity
Insecurity, the state of being open to offence and distorted views of oneself due to uncertainty about or lack of appreciation for oneself. We all have this vulnerability to varying degrees and for varying reasons. Even further we handle it in different ways. Some may dwell on their insecurity, hyper-focused and critical of the source of their insecurity. Some may ignore it pretending that the wound doesn't exist. Or we swing from one extreme to the other. Or we take the courageous step to peak into the past to identify and address the root of the wound causing our insecurity, which can be exhausting like exhuming a body and finding three in a coffin where there should be one.
Of course not all insecurities require this work, some are superficial annoyances that we wouldn't change even if we had a million bucks. And if it doesn't affect your way of life, how freely you live and your ability to be genuinely yourself in any sphere of your life then it really is something that can be ignored as it most likely is not logged into your psyche and come from fickle and fleeting societal trends and views on image, appearance and lifestyle.
But what about those that affect and distort our perspectives of ourselves, our lives and our communities; how do we deal with those?
Understand the intrinsic and steady nature of your existence
When I am in my feels about my insecurities and just reeling, I tend to question my worth and value, which my insecure mind would determine to be on the lower side. And that is why I, more often than not, prefer to not use the words "value" and "worth" to describe my existence. I am a human being who exists and who cannot be appraised, more of a truly priceless artifact that is must be preserved and protected. My worth or value does not fluctuate, otherwise I would have to live in a perpetual state of doing in an effort to increase or at the minimum maintain it. Whether that would dieting even if it is not doing me any good. Or engaging in activities that I do not enjoy. So don't add tax because you are not a commodity.
Affirm your existence
These days there thousands of instructionals on how to engage in positive self talk, no self-disparaging girls here. So use these resources to shift your mindset, to not only focus on the parts of you that you love but also recognise the significance of the parts of you do not love. Like if you're insecure about your tummy, sure you're insecure about it but it plays the significant role of hold your intestines that is worth a gold star at least right.
Some Instagram pages that I follow for positive self talk
Yasmine Cheyenne
Alex Elle
Accept your insecurity
This is mostly applicable to body or image related insecurities. I have an insecurity about my teeth, if you know me then you've seen then you know the story but I looove smiling and I have a beautiful smile too, it lights up my face like it is reflecting the earnestness of my soul, makes ten times more beautiful. Can I let my insecurity dim such a thing, let it deny me the pleasure of seeing my beautiful brightening smile when I get a glimpse of my reflection on a mirrored surface? NO. In my case accepting means not scruntinising my pearly whites and not obsessing over other people's teeth. For you, your acceptance could manifest itself in other ways.
Focusing on your personality
You would probably not guess this if you saw me IRL now but growing up I was a tomboy, especially pre-seventeen-year-old me. Which is odd considering I grew up in majority female spaces, or maybe I was making for the lack male presence in my life hmmm. Anyway I used to wear baggy clothes and played pretty rough, I got into some fights that not many people know about...nje I was not the girl who was concerned about a pimple on her forehead or if clothing items matched or suited my body type or what my weight was (although some other people really made it their life's purpose). This cavalier attitude about my appearance allowed me time and energy to explore interests, develop hobbies and a sense of humour that is neither self deprecating nor dependent on putting others down.
Talk about it
We've reach a stage in society where such things are normal and accepted as part of the human experience. Everyone is kind of tired of pretending, even celebrities (who people idolise as the epitome of perfection) are honestly speaking on their insecurities. Like Selena Gomez who recently shared that she wishes she looked more like Bella Hadid but instead she looks like herself. This does not mean make jokes at your expense, that makes things awkward for everyone but just be real.
Cheers to being real
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